Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful and challenging tasks you may face after losing a loved one. It is not just a notice of death — it is a tribute that tells the story of a life lived.
A well-written obituary can capture the essence of the person, share their accomplishments, and let others know how much they were loved. In this blog, we will guide you through how to write an obituary that truly honours a life.
Why Obituaries Matter
An obituary serves several important purposes. First, it informs the community about the passing, providing details about the funeral or memorial service. But beyond that, it offers a chance to reflect on the person’s life, values, and the impact they had on others. For many families, writing an obituary is part of the grieving process. It helps them look back on precious memories, celebrate the person’s achievements, and share their sorrow and love with others.
Funeral homes often assist families with writing and publishing obituaries, offering advice on style, length, and the best places to post the notice, whether in newspapers or online memorial pages. Their guidance can be especially helpful when families are feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to begin.
Key Elements of a Good Obituary
While every obituary is unique, there are some common elements that help make it complete and meaningful. Here is what to include:
Basic Information
Start with the basic facts: the full name of the deceased (including any nicknames they were known by), their age, place of birth, and date of death. You might also include where they passed away, although some families prefer to keep that private.
Brief Biography
Share a short but meaningful summary of their life. Where did they grow up? What schools did they attend? Did they have a career or passion they devoted their life to? Were they involved in the community, sports, volunteering, or hobbies? Focus on what mattered most to them and what they were known for.
Family Information
List close family members, both living and deceased. This usually includes spouses or partners, children, parents, siblings, and sometimes grandchildren or great-grandchildren. You do not need to include every relative, but highlight the key relationships that shaped their life.
Personal Touches
This is where you can bring the obituary to life. Share details that paint a picture of who the person was — their personality, their favourite sayings, their quirks, their passions, or the little things they were known for. Did they have a great sense of humour? Were they a fantastic cook? Did they light up every room they entered? These details make the obituary feel personal and real.
Service Details
Include information about the funeral or memorial service so people know how they can pay their respects. Provide the date, time, and location of the service, as well as any special requests, such as donations to a favourite charity or a specific dress code. Funeral homes can help ensure all details are accurate and clear.
A Closing Message
Many obituaries end with a final thought, quote, or message. This could be a line from a favourite poem, a thank-you to caregivers, or a simple expression of love and remembrance. It offers a gentle way to close the tribute.
Tips for Writing an Obituary That Feels Genuine
Writing an obituary can feel overwhelming, especially when you are grieving. Here are some tips to help guide you:
Take Your Time
If possible, give yourself time to reflect before you start writing. Gather with family members to share stories and memories. Sometimes talking together can spark ideas and help you decide what should be included.
Keep It Balanced
An obituary does not need to cover every detail of a person’s life, but it should give a balanced view. Focus on the highlights and the qualities that truly defined them. Remember, you are not writing a formal biography — you are celebrating a life.
Write Simply and Clearly
Use straightforward language. You do not need fancy words or complex sentences to make an obituary meaningful. Clear, simple writing often has the most emotional impact.
Proofread Carefully
Before publishing, read the obituary carefully to check for errors in names, dates, and details. Ask another family member or friend to review it as well. Funeral homes can assist with this step, helping ensure everything is accurate and polished.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
When writing an obituary, try to avoid:
- Being too formal: An overly stiff tone can make the tribute feel distant. Aim for warmth and sincerity.
- Leaving out service details: Make sure readers know how they can pay their respects.
- Rushing: Give yourself time to reflect and write thoughtfully.
- Including too much or too little: Focus on the highlights and key details that matter most.
Writing an obituary is a deeply personal task. It is your chance to honour a loved one’s life, share their story, and let others know how much they were cherished.
With the help of funeral homes, families can craft obituaries that are not only informative but also heartfelt and meaningful. By taking the time to reflect on what made the person unique, you can create a tribute that truly captures their spirit — a tribute that will be remembered and appreciated for years to come.
